Wednesday, February 28, 2007

BREAKING: Paris Hilton Violates Probation, Could Face 90 Days in Jail

Hey Dumb Chick:

You're rich. Get a fucking chauffeur before you kill someone.

Love,The Human Race

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Another silly What kind of ______ are you test...

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

Take the WhichSports Car Are You? quiz.


107 year old women starts a blog

"My name is Olive Riley. I live in Australia near Sydney. I was born in Broken Hill on Oct. 20th 1899.Broken Hill is a mining town, far away in the centre of Australia. My Friend, Mike, has arranged this blog for me. He is doing the typing and I am telling the stories."

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My kind of art show...


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Al Gore: Hypocrite?

Al Gore’s Personal Energy Use Is His Own “Inconvenient Truth”


Monday, February 26, 2007

Words of Wisdom

Things I learned while sitting at a table next to a group of angsty teenagers:

  • Dune is the greatest book ever written
  • Braveheart is like totally the raddest movie ever
  • Some song by some emo band is the greatest song ever (they kept changing their minds on which one)

Also apparently if you are a white kid from Regina and you have been "dissed" the appropriate response is to say "Oh, Snap!".


J. Doan makes fun of celebrities...

Ahhh, the Oscars, the time of year when celebrities traditionaly wander around looking as though they are on their way to some sort of halloween party. Unfortunatly this year no one looked ridiculously bad. Still I shall endeavour to make snarky comments anyway.

Casino Royale's Eva Green hopes to take home the award for "Most Goth look at an award show"

J.Lo shows up accompanied by her husband, Gollum.

Meryl Streep didn't have time to change after her karate class.

The class is taught by Quincy Jones.

"37 flamingos had to die to make this dress, I hope everyone likes it", thought Penelope Cruz.

Abigail Breslin prepares to smash Dakota Fanning in the head with a brick in hopes of getting some of the juicy roles she is hogging.***Make up your own great boobs are a gift joke.***

In attendance to support The Queen was Sir Winston Churchill. Oh wait, never mind. That's Mickey Rooney."Hi, I'm Gwyneth. I used to be a famous actress."

Wolfgang Puck fears that no one will know who he is if he isn't wearing a Chef's coat and carrying a tray of food.


Sunday, February 25, 2007

Steampunk Keyboard Mod

Gorgeous Steampunk style keyboard mod made with an IBM Model M keyboard, brass plate, and the keys from two old typewriters.

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The Funkiest VW Beetle Mods ever!! (Pics!)

Got a spare VW Beetle? Why not strap a jet engine onto it, turn it into a boat, or a massive LOBSTER???

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J. Doan picks the Oscars

I'm going to try and make this post as confusing as possible. The nominees that I would vote for are italicized, the nominee I predict is actually going to win are bolded. Movies I have seen are marked with an asterisk (*). I can't pick a nominee unless I have seen the movie. I left out the Documentary and Animated categories as I haven't seen any of them, nor have anyone but the handful of people who will vote in those categories.

I'll update this post after the Oscars are over with my thoughts. Those additions will be in red.

Best Motion Picture of the Year:
  • Babel*
  • The Departed*
  • Letters from Iwo Jima
  • Little Miss Sunshine*
  • The Queen*
The most most wide open Best Picture race in recent memory. I wouldn't be shocked to see any movie except The Queen win (It's not a strong enough story, as well made as it is). Of the 4 movies that I actually saw I enjoyed Little Miss Sunshine the most, though if I were able to vote I would vote for The Departed which was a much better made film. That said, the academy has a tendency to vote for the movie with the most convoluted plot and that would have to be Babel, which manages to tie together the lives of a Mexican housekeeper, Moroccan goat farmer and a deaf mute Japanese girl.

Not upset about this choice at all. Excellent film from the greatest filmmaker of his generation with an amazing cast.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:

  • Leonardo DiCaprio* (Blood Diamond)
  • Ryan Gosling* (Half Nelson)
  • Forest Whitaker* (The Last King of Scotland)
  • Will Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness)
  • Peter O'Toole (Venus)

The only way that Forest Whitaker is walking away without this award is if enough of the old guard try and make up for not giving Peter O'Toole the award in 1969 for The Lion in Winter. I don't see that happening, as they already did that by giving him an honorary award in 2003.

Another obvious choice, but still it was a very powerful perfomance and deserving of recognition.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

  • Meryl Streep* (The Devil Wears Prada)
  • Kate Winslet* (Little Children)
  • Judi Dench (Notes on a Scandal)
  • Helen Mirren* (The Queen)
  • Penelope Cruz (Volver)

I really wanted to see Notes on a Scandal, but time just ran out (well, more accurately, my local theater only showed it for a week), but I doubt seeing it would have swayed my decision making. Meryl Streep does put on an amazing performance as the boss from hell, and Kate Winslet does make you feel for her as the suburban housewife caught in a relationship she no longer wants, but Helen Mirren IS Queen Elizabeth II.

Well that's not exactly a shocker.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

  • Djimon Hounsou* (Blood Diamond)
  • Mark Wahlberg* (The Departed)
  • Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls)
  • Jackie Earle Haley* (Little Children)
  • Alan Arkin* (Little Miss Sunshine)

I couldn't give a shit if I ever see Dreamgirls, but everyone and their dog keeps raving about Eddie Murphy's performance, which is in no small part I'm sure to everyone not expecting much from him in a dramatic role. For my money though Jackie Earle Haley as the recently paroled sex offender in Little Children is just so creepy I'd likely cross the street to avoid him in real life. I also wouldn't be sad to see Alan Arkin win for his take on a heroin addicted grandfather/beauty contest coach in Little Miss Sunshine.

A great performance by a great actor. Thank you Academy for not going along with the Eddie Murphy hype machine. Could this be the start of a landslide of awards for Little Miss Sunshine?

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

  • Adriana Barazza* (Babel)
  • Rinko Kikuchi* (Babel)
  • Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls)
  • Abigail Breslin *(Little Miss Sunshine)
  • Cate Blanchett (Notes on a Scandal)

Now here's the category where I wish I would have seen Notes on a Scandal. I know Jennifer Hudson is getting nothing but good buzz, but she isn't going to win this one for 2 reasons. First up is American Idol, there is no way someone is going form being on American Idol to winning an acting Oscar in 2 years, no way. The second one is the more sinister race issue. The academy has been, shall we say, less white bread as of late, but 3 of the 4 acting awards aren't going to go to African-american actors. That's just the reality of the situation. They may however still show some diversity by giving the award to Rinko Kikuchi who absolutely smolders in Babel. Don't be shocked though if the award goes with my favourite performance, 10 year old Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine.

Well that confirms that I don't know shit.

Best Achievement in Directing

  • Alejandro González Iñárritu* (Babel)
  • Martin Scorsese* (The Departed)
  • Clint Eastwood (Letters from Iwo Jima)
  • Stephen Frears* (The Queen)
  • Paul Greengrass* (United 93)

The 6th time is the charm for the MPAA's answer to Susan Lucci, Martin Scorsese. This one is a lock.


Best Writing, Original Screenplay

  • Babel*
  • El Laberinto del Fauno*
  • Letters from Iwo Jima
  • Little Miss Sunshine*
  • The Queen*

Remember what I said earlier about the Academy loving convoluted stories? Well it holds true here. I'd vote for Pan's Labyrinth, but the Academy will appreciate that only half of Babel is subtitled.

Hmmmm...I'm feeling like I should go change my Best Picture prediction.

Best Writing, Adapted Screenplay

  • Borat: Cultural Learnings of America...*
  • Children of Men*
  • The Departed*
  • Little Children*
  • Notes on a Scandal

Borat needs some recognition and this is the only category it can get any in, I'll be surprised if this category goes any other way.

Bah, that's a load of crap. Take one Asian movie, translate it to English and voila, Award statue.

Best Achievement in Cinematography

  • The Black Dahlia
  • Children of Men*
  • The Illusionist
  • El Laberinto del Fauno*
  • The Prestige

Another category where I wish I had seen more nominees, but it likely doesn't matter. Pan's Labyrinth is a breathtakingly beautiful movie to look at and will do well in the technical awards.

Another obvious lock wins an award.

Best Achievement in Art Direction

  • Dreamgirls
  • The Good Shepherd
  • El Laberinto del Fauno*
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest*
  • The Prestige

Another category where I wish I had seen more nominees, but it likely doesn't matter. Pan's Labyrinth is a breathtakingly beautiful movie to look at and will do well in the technical awards. Wait, did I already say that?

Not at all a shocking outcome to start the night.

Best Achievement in Costume Design

  • The Devil Wears Prada*
  • Dreamgirls
  • Curse of the Golden Flower
  • Marie Antoinette
  • The Queen*

I expect that this award will go to the movie that was the most work for the costume designer, Curse of the Golden Flower, but I didn't see it. For my pick I'll go with multiple Emmy award winner Patricia Field's work in The Devil Wears Prada.

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest*
  • Apocalypto
  • Blood Diamond*
  • Dreamgirls
  • Flags of Our Fathers
I never know how the sound awards are going to go so I'll just pick the movie that had the biggest budget and marketing campaign and assum the Academy will as well.

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

  • Apocalypto
  • Blood Diamond*
  • Flags of Our Fathers
  • Letters from Iwo Jima
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest*

Of course I could be wrong and they may go for the explosion filled war movie that I didn't see instead.

Best Achievement in Editing

  • Babel*
  • Blood Diamond*
  • Children of Men*
  • The Departed*
  • United 93*

When teaching film production this is the movie instructors will use in the future. The last fifteen minutes are as intense as any movie you've ever seen and that is in no small part thanks to the amazing work of the editors who make the inside of that plane seem as claustrophobic and hectic as possible. Hey, I managed to see all the nominees in at least 1 category, yay me.

Did they start letting non-editors vote in this category? Horrible choice.

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest*
  • Poseiden
  • Superman Returns*

Another lock, Superman was good Pirates was great.

Just like the make-up category there was only one real choice here and the majority of voters picked it.

Best Achievement in Makeup

  • Apocalypto
  • Click
  • El Laberinto del Fauno*

If this one goes any other way someone needs to launch an investigation pronto.

It really was a one horse race.

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

  • Our Town (Cars)
  • Listen (Dreamgirls)
  • Love You I Do (Dreamgirls)
  • Patience (Dreamgirls)
  • I Need To Wake Up (An Inconvenient Truth)

Hmmmm, I don't get to vote here. I predict all the Dreamgirls songs will cancel each other out and Randy Newman will walk away with his 2nd Oscar (out of what is it now? 100 nominations?)

Hmmm..picked the wrong non-Dreamgirls song.

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

  • Babel*
  • The Good German
  • El Laberinto del Fauno*
  • Notes on a Scandal
  • The Queen*

Honestly, unless it's an amazingly powerful score like Star Wars, I just don't notice it. Pan's Labyrinth continues to steam roll through the lesser awards.

Like I said, didn't even notice the score in any of the movies i saw...

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

  • Efter brylluppet - Denmark
  • Indigenes - Algeria
  • El Laberinto del Fauno* - Mexico
  • Das Leben der Anderen - Germany
  • Water - Canada

You know how I said that Martin Scorsese would be a lock? Well he's a long shot compared to this "race".

Wow, I'm stunned. I hope this doesn't bode poorly for my other locks....

And there you have it folks. Check back after the awards to see how I did.

J. Doan's favourites: 8/18

Correctly guessing what the Academy would vote for: 7/19

Good thing I wasn't wagering money on these.


David Spade on Britney Spears's hair cut.


Friday, February 23, 2007

In case you are bored

and want to keep up on all the latest Britney Spears news:


Gallery: Frank Miller's 300

In a scene from 300, Spartan soldiers discover the victims of the Persian army's invasion of Greece hanging like Dali's clocks from a tree. The backdrop and most of the soldiers in this scene were created digitally, painstakingly colored and composed to match the frames of Frank Miller's graphic novel.

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Sirius' and XM's Merger Presentation Revealed

Most of the talk is directed at shareholders and those "synergies" that help out the bottom line -- to the tune of an estimated $3-7 billion in savings, though a $4 billion "flex" does seem to cast a bit of doubt on those numbers. The rest of the slides deal with plans for getting regulatory approval

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IE loses ground to Firefox, Safari in US; holds its ground worldwide

The browser wars are in full swing. Ars breaks down the numbers and discovers that more US residents are on a surfing Safari while Internet Explorer appears to have stopped the bleeding outside of the US. Come on rest of the world, wise up.

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Britney Spears update.

She is a complete fucking nut bar. That is all.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Anna Nicole Wacked Out Of Her Mind In Clown Makeup!


The Onion

XM, Sirius to Merge

XM Satellite Radio Holdings Inc. and Sirius Satellite Radio announced a plan to merge the two companies. What do you think?


George Takei responds to Tim Hardaway

As you may or may not know, George Takei (Mr. Sulu) is gay and hilarious. So here is his public response to Tim Hardaways "I hate gay people" comments, pretty damn funny.

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It's official: XM and Sirius plan to tie the knot

XM and Sirius have just issued a joint press release stating their intention to become partners in a proposed $13 billion deal, which still must pass rather daunting regulatory scrutiny and opposition from such heavyweights as the National Association of Broadcasters. No details are available yet as to what this will mean for Canadian subscribers.

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

Some Random movie thoughts

So I spent my days off trying to catch up on movies in hopes of being able to make an informed post about this years crop of Oscar nominees. I watched 6 movies in the last week that are nominated for various awards and thought I should give a quick opinion on them. Look for an in depth Oscar preview here sometime later in the week (I have another 5 or 6 movies I want to see first).

The Queen - The movie tells the story of the behind the scenes fighting between the royals and the newly elected Tony Blair over how to mark the death of Princess Diana. If ever they need a stand-in for Queen Elizabeth II, Dame Helen Mirren should get the job no questions asked. Very early in the movie you forget that you are watching an actor and not the real queen, an that's no small feat when you are dealing with a still living monarch that people are familiar with. My only quibble was with the casting of Alex Jennings as Prince Charles. He looks nothing like Prince Charles and that kept pulling me back into reality while watching the movie. Although I suppose I should be more annoyed with the make-up artist than the actor, as he does do a good job of getting the prince's mannerisms down.

Babel - This years Oscar darling from the mold of films like Traffic or Syriana, tells 4 loosely connected stories taking place at the same time on 3 different continents. The strength of this movie isn't in the story, which isn't all that original or compelling, but in the ability of the cast to make you believe that their stories are interesting and compelling. Oscar nominated Rinko Kikuchi does an amazing job in a role where she never says a word and even Brad Pitt manages to convince the audience that he is a concerned for the well being of his wife (Cate Blanchett) who has been shot while on vacation in Morocco.

The Last King of Scotland - The story of Idi Amin's rise to power in Uganda in the 1970's as seen through the eyes of his personal physician. What can be said about Forrest Whitaker's portrayal of Ugandan dictator Idi Amin that hasn't been said in every other magazine, newspaper and blog or at every award show this year where he has taken home an impressive pile of hardware? Amazing, just amazing.

El Laberinto del Fauno (Pan's Labyrinth) - This year's quirky dark fantasy movie interweaves a fairy tale story amidst the back drop of fascist Spain in the 1940's. The special effects and make-up are amazing, but I can't shake the feeling that Guillermo del Toro decided to do this movie entirely in Spanish to make it seem a little more artsy than it is. If this movie was in English, it would not be up for nearly as many awards as it is. Don't get me wrong, I did quite enjoy it, I just didn't think it lived up to the hype. (Gwenhwyfer is going to flame the hell out of me)

United 93 - Paul Greengrass's docudrama about the terrorist attacks on September 11th should have been called Air Traffic Control 9/11 as most of the action takes place in various ATC towers along the eastern seaboard that day. Combining actors with a lot of the actual people who were there that day playing themselves one assumes it tells as accurate a story as possible (except for the scenes on the plane itself, which we'll never know if they are accurate or not). The last 15 minutes of the movie are as intense ans any 15 minutes in movie history.

Little Children - The story centers on Sarah and Brad, who bond and start to have an affair after meeting at the park where they both take their children, and the other people who inhabit their upper middle class suburb. Former child star Jackie Earle Haley is great as Ronnie McGorvey a recently paroled pedophile who has moved in to his mother's house. I'm having trouble describing the movie as it is structured differently than most American movies, but it was probably my favourite out of this group. It reminded me of American Beauty.

Check back later in the week for my Oscar predictions.


Monday, February 12, 2007


That's the only word I can think of to describe the photography of Trey Ratcliff of When it warms up enough outside so that my camera lens doesn't frost over long enough to take a bracketed series of pictures I'm going to teach myself how to do this HDR image processing that is all the rage.


Monday, February 05, 2007

I want one...


Sunday, February 04, 2007


Millions Of Americans Travel To Kentucky To Attend Barbaros Funeral

The Onion

Millions Of Americans Travel To Kentucky To Attend Barbaro's Funeral

LOUISVILLE, KY—In a stirring show of love and respect, millions of people—including Barbaro's owners, breeders, associates, foreign dignitaries and heads of state from over 90 countries, celebrities, and throngs of grief-stricken...