Thursday, August 31, 2006

Ask Jason Anything III: Answers

You guys came through in the last few hours and now I finally have some questions to answer so let's just jump right in.

What is your theory about sex live.
uhhh...I greatly prefer it to sex dead.
Where does all the white go when the snow melts
I believe it is harvested and used to cover the legs of the 80 year old men in shorts I see every time I go to the mall.
What would you do for a klondike bar?
I would graciously decline the klondike bar, still sticking to the diet.
Oh do you get a dog to stop eating electronic devices...ex. cell phones, cd players, key fobs, etc. If you can answer that with something that works, you are my new hero.
Would obedience school be an option perchance? If not might I suggest not leaving things that you don't want eaten where the dog can reach them?
What is one plus one?
Why Do word verification have to be so darn difficult to read?
The thing is, they don't have to be. They only have to be in a picture to stop the automated spammers. A simple English word displayed the same way would serve the same purpose. My guess is that they are just trying to dupe you into thinking they are doing more to prevent spamming than they actually are.
Assuming the existance of God is George Bush the penalty for our sin or the reward for our goodness?
Ahhh a mixing of politics and religion, always fun subjects to combine. I'm sure that George would tell you that he was the latter as he does seem to believe himself to be an outstanding example of virtue and morality, but does a virtuous and moral person lead a crusade against a vastly overpowered foe for no apparent reason whatsoever? I would like to think not. But is he evil? I don't believe that to be case either. I think of him as a simple person easily swayed by those around him. So I'm going to have to cop out a little on your Question Dr. John and say that he is neither. Dick Cheney on the other hand...Well, he makes me glad I live in Canada.

Well that's all that was in the mailbag this week. I hope everyone is enjoying reading these as much as I am writing them.


Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Ask Jason Anything: Still time...

No one has any questions this week? I'm sure someone out there is wondering something. You still have another day to get those questions in, leave them in the comments section of the previous Ask Jason Anything post.


Monday, August 28, 2006

Accusing someone of paranoia doesn't make you any less paranoid.

My feelings have been hurt today. Our dear friend kooky Val updated her kooky website over the weekend this time to fire some shots at someone who has blogged about her ineffective campaign to have Howard Stern pulled off the air in Canada. The blogger in question wasn't me. What the hell Val? I'm king of the anti-Val bloggers (well in my own mind anyway, I can be delusional).

Anywho here's the guy she went after, I linked to him several months ago as well. Kooky Val had this to say:

He has a personal blog on which he posts seriously boring information about himself and comments about me which usually involve calling me a liar.

Michael Acheson also participates in Sludge's harassment thread on the Stern Fan Network under the name Macheson. This is interesting because comments he posted to his blog raise the possibility that he's a teacher (click here for posting). He's probably not a teacher though. I can't imagine a teacher being stupid enough to collaborate with someone who posts comments like this in a public forum. And that's mild, compared to Sludge's usual obscene comments, or these from some of the other participants. Nice company you keep, Mr. Acheson.

Note all those links there, they all lead to .pdf's she made of people insulting her. Which brings us to her next post:
Did some tidying up on this page for ease of reference. Messrs Acheson and Flood think changes to this page are noteworthy. They're not, really. It's standard ops to update a web site. But you two better print this new version off, just in case. You can never be too careful. Or paranoid.

Uhhhh, hey Kooky lady, you go to the effort of saving .pdf's of it every time someone mentions your name for fear that the posting will disappear before you can bother the police with some sort of bullshit harassment beef, fearing not just for yourself but for anyone who happens to be named Valerie Smith. Who exactly is the paranoid one?


Ask Jason Anything III

Well it's Monday again at the Incredibly Lame Blog and that means it's time for another round of Ask Jason Anything. Feel free to let lose with questions on any topic you'd like and I'll attempt to answer them, or at least be humourous in my attempt to answer them. As always answers will be posted on Thursday.


A weekend of firsts.

Did a couple of things I'd never done before this weekend (get your minds out of the gutters you sickos).

On Friday myself and she who can't be named on this blog took in our first horse show, uhhh, as spectators not as horses. There was some nice looking horses, but for the cost of buying an Arabian horse I'd much rather buy a Ferrari.

Saturday saw us attend the first ever Tequila Tasting held at Bushwakker, my favourite pub. I'm not really a connoisseur of tequila, I like it but I can't pontificate on it for hours on end like I can with scotch or beer. I liked most of the tequilas that we sampled, but my favourite of the night was the Cabo Wabo Resposado. The only one I hated was the Mezcal de Oaxaca Scorpion which to me smelled like Parmesan cheese and had a taste I could only describe rancid ass. Oh well you can't like everything I suppose, but it did shock me when the master of ceremonies commented that it was the one that was most highly rated by whichever rating guide they were using that night. She who can not be named in this blog ate the scorpion out of one of the bottles.


Friday, August 25, 2006

Elton John to try 'Candle in the Wiz-ind'?

Weird... - Elton John to try 'Candle in the Wiz-ind'?


I could do this, I just don't wanna


Snakes on a Plane: Could it Motherf#@kin' happen here?

Samantha Bee is awesome


I'd eat there


A look at some of the transformers


Some of these look pretty cool...still almost a year to wait for the movie.


Thursday, August 24, 2006

Diet Update: Finally

I can finally keep accurate tabs on my weight loss because my scale now seems to work. I stepped on it this morning and it now has a number on it instead of saying "Go away, fatty". So I now officially know that I weigh 307 lbs, I started my diet 6.5 weeks ago weighing ~330 lbs and I'd like to lose another 57 lbs. Watch this space for further updates.


Ask Jason Anything: Round 2 - Answers

A few more questions this week than last week, thanks for participating.
My friend is getting a beige and white, crazy kitten. Any name suggestions?
My suggestions would be either Moo Goo Gai Pan or Mushu Pork, also I would recommend that your friend seek psychiatric help as there is clearly something wrong with someone who would willingly share their home with a cat.
Through a discussion with a nerdy co-worker, it was decided that this question could give good insight into the psyche... If you could be any alien race from Star Trek, which would you be?
Good question. I'd have to pick Romulan. All the cool mind powers of the Vulcans but with a nice evil streak. Plus I hear that Romulan Ale is damn tasty stuff.
Of what possible use is chaos theory?
Chaos Theory is an excellent way for pseudo-intellectual types to get out of actually studying and researching things. Anytime something weird occurs just blame your good buddy Chaos Theory.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck all the would that a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
What is the meaning of jellybeans?
I have never figured that one out myself. I've planted many of them over the years and never has a mighty jellybean tree sprouted from the ground for me to adequately research...I blame Chaos Theory.

That's all for this week, come back next week for another thrilling installment of Ask Jason Anything.


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Quite the spike in traffic today...

I had been averaging 25-30 hits a day but today I had well over 100. What changed you ask? I signed up at Blogmad. I have been a member at blogexplosion for a month or so and they were good for 5-10 hits a day, but it was painful to earn credits there because their site is so slow. No such problems at Blogmad though, the site seems to run as smooth as silk and for every blog you visit they'll send a visitor to your blog, they'll even give you 25 credits right off the bat just for signing up. So if you want a little more traffic going to your site give them a try.


Diet update: Day ??

I forget how many days it's been since I started the diet, 6 weeks or so I think. I think I've lost about 20 pounds but without a scale that can give me an accurate reading of my mass it's hard to know for certain. I do feel a lot better as of late, not so many creaks and pops when I stand up and such and I do seem to have a little more energy. I haven't been exercising enough (well really much at all) the last couple of weeks, something I'll need to rectify. I have managed to not stray from the diet at all which is of course the main thing (except for the trip to the fair). Now if only I could make the last few pounds go away so my scale would work it would be much less frustrating weighing myself.


Fill in the Blank

In this picture Tom Cruise is discussing _________.


Monday, August 21, 2006

Ask Jason Anything: Round 2

It's Monday at the Incredibly Lame Blog and that means it's time for another round of Ask Jason Anything. I'm sure someone out there has something they need answered. Relationship advice? Etiquette Tips? Theoretical physics problem keeping you awake at night? Fire away. Answers on Thursday.


Sunday, August 20, 2006

A word of warning

Dear Shithead Who Tried To Break Into My Car:

Congratulations on being too stupid to figure out how to break into a car, and doing nothing more than busting my door handle and scratching my paint. I can see our public education system continues to pump out a never ending supply of retards. What were you hoping to get? The $2 in parking meter change hidden in my console? If you are too fucking stupid to figure out how to get past the door locks you certainly aren't going to be able to get past the ignition lock. So here's my warning you little piece of shit, I'm keeping my windows open at night, if I hear you come back you are going to understand the meaning of the word pain in a way you never thought possible.


A word of advice

If you are a passenger in a car pulled over by police, and the person driving the car has had 1 beer...4 hours ago...When the police ask the driver if he's been drinking don't yell "YES HE HAS", it makes the whole situation more difficult than it needs to be.


Friday, August 18, 2006

The Daily Show: Target: USA


Some classic game show craziness


Ask Jason Anything: Answers

Here we go...

slackermommy writes:
"I'm embarrassed to ask but what does LMOA mean?"
If you meant to type the common internet shorthand "LMAO", it stands for Laughing My Ass Off, if however that wasn't a typo I have no idea...Little Men Offering Acupuncture?

Holly writes:
Jason, where do babies come from?
Let's see, small crying things that generally get on my nerves...France?

Anonymous writes:
What will it take to get you to bring H.O.H vol.2 to work?
It will take me remembering to throw it in my bag before I come to work on Sunday...I'll write myself a note or something.
Also, do fat-bottomed girls really make the rocking world go round?
I would be inclined to answer yes, but Led Zeppelin trumps Queen and Robert Plant tells us that A big legged woman ain't got no soul, so perhaps rock music doesn't hold all of the answers.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

First Impressions

Things I like about the new version of Blogger:
  • Labels. Now if you want to see all the posts I've ever made on a topic you just need to click on that label and they will all be neatly arranged on one page for you. Well, they will be once I go back and label all of my old posts, 50 down...200 to go.
  • Layouts. So much easier to edit than the old templates. A great WYSIWYG interface for changing fonts and colours makes it easy to play with changing the look of your blog. A nice drag and drop interface for arranging information on your blog, and a much more user friendly system for adding links.
  • No more republishing of the entire blog every time you post. Click on publish and the post is up, no waiting.
  • Love the new spellchecker, that highlights words in the composer window instead of opening a popup.

Things I dislike about the new version of Blogger:

  • Limited selection of layouts, and they all look the same.
  • Can't define the widths of the columns on your layout, I'm back to a 2 column setup that is wasting a ton of space.
  • Can't currently use a graphic as your header. Come on people, I slaved away in Photoshop for 3 straight minutes to build my logo.

So basically all of my dislikes will go away once they allow users to edit their HTML, as I could fix all of those problems by doing a little bit of coding myself. All in all they seem to have greatly improved from the previous version.


Switched Over

Ok, so I just switched over to the new beta version of Blogger. Let me know if anything isn't working anymore.


Tuesday, August 15, 2006

World's smallest revolver and ammunition

I want one.

read more digg story


Google Unveils New Blogger Beta

Looks like some big changes coming for Blogger. I'm most looking forward to the addition of tags. I hope I'll be able to go back and add tags to older posts. Looks like they are also making editing templates easier, which should help some of the less technically savvy users.

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Monday, August 14, 2006

Ask Jason Anything

Well that last bit was fun, so I'm starting a new feature on Jason's Incredibly Lame Blog called Ask Jason Anything. The title should be pretty self explanatory but for those of you who are a little on the slow side, it goes like this: Ask me any question you'd like and I'll attempt to answer it. If I can't answer it I'll make some shit up. So go ahead and fire away. I'll post answers to your questions in a couple of days.


Writer's block responses...

Holly writes:

"Steve Earle about that a bit... "

meh, I kinda like Steve Earle. I didn't go to his concert Saturday night or anything, but he rocks pretty hard and has an interesting story of abuse and recovery.

Gwenwyfer writes:

"You haven't said anything about crazy Val in quite some time."

This is in fact true. Unfortunately our dear friend kooky Val hasn't really tossed any of her trademark softballs for me to swing at lately. As of late she's been reduced to posting emails and letters that are sometimes several years old in an attempt to look like she's doing something. Today she posted a picture of "sludge". [sarcasm] I'm sure it will cause him many sleepless nights and may cause him post traumatic stress disorder. I hope he sues. [/sarcasm]


Kermit the frog on The Daily Show


Writer's Block

I have nothing really to type about at the moment. Leave me some topics in the comments and I'll see what I can do with them.


Friday, August 11, 2006



Thursday, August 10, 2006

Some of the most amazing Sept 11th pictures you will ever see

A photographer, who had worked for an alternative New York picture agency, had been carrying three cameras with him, when he left his home in Manhattan that sparkling Tuesday morning, and started walking south towards the plumes of smoke. He took some pretty amazing (and disturbing) pictures.

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How NOT to Release a Leopard


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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I'm on notice!

What the heck did I do to piss off Stephen Colbert?
Make your own on notice board.


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Amazing Pool Tricks


Working guitar made out of Lego


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Another Diet Update

The scale still isn't working for me, but I do feel lighter. I don't seem to creak and moan as much when I get up in the morning and I think I'm feeling healthier. The diet did go out the window for a few hours over the weekend, because we just couldn't not go to the fair. We were much better than we usually are at the fair this year. I had one souvlaki instead of my usual 3, half a bag of mini donuts instead of my usual 3, half an elephant ear instead of 1 of my own, a smoked meat sandwich instead of a greasy fried burger or pizza slice and 1 root beer instead of the usual 3 or 4. All in all not too horrible of a stray from the diet.


Sunday, August 06, 2006


Would a tattoo of Tattoo be really really cool, or really really uncool? What if he was chilling on Tattooine?


Ann Coulter shows her ignorance yet again

PWNED! as the kids say.


Friday, August 04, 2006

Regina part of a Zionist plot?


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

A handy tip.

If you've had a caesarian section, no matter how good of shape you get back into, wandering around downtown wearing a belly shirt and a pair of daisy dukes is gross.


$25 million Creation Museum being built in Kentucky

Like most natural history museums, this one has exhibits showing dinosaurs roaming the earth. Except here, the giant reptiles share the forest with Adam and Eve.


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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

YouTube Overtakes MySpace

YouTube has established itself at the top of the league of the new generation of community websites by becoming even more popular than MySpace, according to research. According to Nielsen/NetRatings, YouTube's American user base grew by 297% in the first half of the year.

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